1. I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

2. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

3. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

4. It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

5. The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.

6. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

7. What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

8. A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

9. When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

10. There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

11. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

12. Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

13. True friends stab you in the front.

14. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.

15. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

16. There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

17. Genius is born—not paid.

18. Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.

19. How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?

20. A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

21. My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people’s.

22. The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.

23. I like men who have a future and women who have a past.

24. There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

25. Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

And one bonus quote about Oscar Wilde! Dorothy Parker said it best in a 1927 issue of Life:

If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.

1. A shortcut to any website.

Whatever you type into the URL bar can be surrounded by www. & .com by pressing control + enter.

2. An easy way to browse photos on a subreddit hands-free.

When viewing picture based subreddits, add a “p” into the url like so: redditp.com/r/subreddit to get a picture slideshow of the posts on that subreddit. This is particularly useful when you want to browse a picture based subreddit ahemhands-free.

3. A shortcut to downloading music.

Type -inurl:(htm|html|php) intitle:”index of” +”last modified” +”parent directory” +description +size +(wma|mp3) “weezer” into a google search bar.

And for other searches, replace “weezer” with whatever you’re looking for. It finds music downloads on public ftp and http sites.

4. How to do a reverse image search.

Hold S and right click an image to do reverse image search in Chrome.

5. How to skip the boring intros of most Youtube videos.

The Wadsworth constant, which was proposed by /u/wadsworth, states that the first 30% of any YouTube instructional video is skippable. YouTube added it as a feature. Tutorial video? Add ?wadsworth=1 to the end of the URL and skip the awkward introduction by the host about their hobbies, genetic history, what they had for breakfast, and the explanation you could have gathered from the video’s title.

6. How to restore a closed browser.

ctrl + shift + T

Opens up the last tab you closed.

7. How to make your cursor move by words.

Most of the good ones are gone, but, holding control makes your cursor move by full words, instead of by characters.

So CTRL + backspace will delete the entire previous word. CTRL + arrow keys will jump to the start of the previous word.

8. A shortcut to highlighting a URL.

CTRL + L highlights the url/address bar in Chrome.

9. How to access private Youtube videos and subscription-only sites.

If a YouTube video is marked as private I’m pretty sure you can gain access simply by deleting the “watch?” In the URL.

I didn’t include this before because I never personally tried it, but I’ve heard that if you remove the “?” In a New York Times online URL you can avoid having to buy a subscription or whatever they want you to pay for.

10. The new “cntrl+Alt+delete.”

Don’t hit control+alt+delete, hit control+shift+escape to go directly to the task manager.

11. How to stop a distracting GIF.

One weird trick is pressing ESC to halt animated GIFs that are distracting. Animators hate me.

12. How to switch between open windows.

So many don’t know about alt-tab, which lets you switch between open applications quickly. It changed my life.

13. A shortcut to reenabling browser right-click.

Putting the following into a favorite/shortcut on the toolbar re-enables browser right click. Good for sites that disable it to stop you stealing pictures, or if their own right click context menu is buggy.

javascript:void(document.oncontextmenu=null)

14. How to open up an incognito window (and what it’s good for).

I’m positive everyone knows this, but ctrl + shift + n opens up an incognito mode tab on chrome. You can browse freely being sure that nothing of what you do is saved in browsing or downloads history. No cookies either.

15. A simple way to clear your cache.

CTRL + SHIFT + R = Clear cache and then refresh page.

16. How to access a blocked subreddit.

If certain subreddits are blocked at your school or work you can type the subreddit name with a + at the end of it.

ex. /r/AskReddit+

17. Apparently, plug-ins are what’s up.

Plug-ins make your internet experience 100x better:

• YouTube Center: allows you to customize YouTube to your liking, auto HD, remove annotations, and other annoying things that normal people have to adjust every time they watch a video.
• Imagus: allows you to view images by just hovering over the link. Works great for reddit.
• AdBlock: Everyone should know about this already. Blocks ads. Allows you to whitelist sites that have tasteful, non-intrusive ads (like reddit).

18. An alternative way to pause a Youtube video.

Tired of hitting spacebar to pause a YouTube video and having it scroll down a page instead? Hit “k” instead.

19. How to access paywall sites.

For websites like washingtonpost.com that allow you a certain number of free stories per month before you hit a paywall, just delete the cookies from the site and it will reset your count. Alternatively, you can browse it in incognito mode (yes it’s useful for more than porn).

20. A fast and easy way to track your UPS package.

If you Google a UPS tracking number, it will link you right to the tracking page for your package.

21. How to excise words from a Google search.

When searching things in Google, you can type a minus sign and then the word you don’t want (-stuff) to remove that word from the search.

22. How to make Google do a barrel roll.

Googling “do a barrel roll” results in a barrel roll on Google.

23. How to access video websites that are restricted in your country.

Youtube video or website not available in your country? Try https://hola.org/ lets you proxy from a different country really easily.

24. A hidden game in Google images.

A lot of people probably already know this, but…
Go to Google. Type in Atari Breakout. Go to Images.

Enjoy.

25. How to make Google look off-balance.

Try searching “tilt” in the address bar in chrome…

Google engineers must have fun.

26. A website that usually has discounts on everything.

Always check retailmenot.com for coupons before buying anything online.

27. How to find an updated version of a now-dead website page.

Run into an old, dead link? Copy the url to archive.org… they often have a preserved copy.

Like this? Read this memoir of a life spent with computers.